"Allright big guy..."

"Allright big guy..." He said in a raspy and almost quiet voice. The kind of voice that comes out of acceptance of a judgment.. The non confrontational broken down voice, hopeless and alone... Its a monologue almost. He, our local shoe shiner. An elderly looking slim and bent gentleman, small with big eyes filled with infinite mini arteries, coloring his look almost red. Mr. Shoe Shiner is also a die hard alcoholic. Would clean big foot's shoes for a dollar... Then he raised his rates to five 5$. Nobody minded. We had the money and alcohol to give him, and he had shoes to shine... A wonderful example of a civilized exchange of goods and services. He would frequent the major clubs on the street and shine ppl out of five dollars... Sometimes he would just come and any alcohol we sized would be given to him. All was good... he was drunk and we were happy... Then we started being less happy, and the money was not treating us well... We kept giving till we had extra to give. Few days later some of us decided to resent him for some reason.. And we changed our attitude to the shoe shiner... We even did not shine as much... Money was tight and moral was all time low. Yet the shoe shiner would say every time to a decline of service or booze request: "All right big guy..." Almost understanding our situation, even sympathizing... The irony is cruel here...
Allright Big Gay was born in to trouble. He never got the blues...the blues got him. Of unknown name, origin or age, this man was actually trying to show us what we failed to show him at first brink of discomfort...
Unfreakingbelievable....

I am sick and tired... simultaneously. o tired....
sleeping ahain ...
out peace lights...